A Prank to End All Pranks
by ditzymagic
Summary: Lee narrowed his eyes. The Bulgarian player turned his head to meet Hermione Granger's eyes and the stare lasted for minutes. Lee could make out the light blush which was now gracing Viktor Krum's face. There was also a wild breathless look on Krum's face. My, my, and they had not even started playing yet.


A/N:

Written for the International Wizarding School Championship.

School and Year: Durmstrang, Year 3

Theme: Beating

Prompts: [Character] Lee Jordan (Main), [Event] Quidditch World Cup, [Song] I believe I can fly - R. Kelly

Word Count: 3290

* * *

_A Prank to End All Pranks_

"Witches and wizards! Welcome to the final match of the 424th Edition of the Quidditch World cup! We have Bulgaria against Egypt and what an amazing lineup it has been this time! Almost magical, if you don't mind me saying–" Lee Jordan's voice boomed in every corner of the stadium and that was all due to the _Sonorus Maxima_ he had done at the beginning. No, there would be no ordinary _Sonorus_ for him. He had gotten the commentator job on a fluke, and there was no way he was going to waste it.

Just after the Final Battle of Hogwarts, Lee had joined the Department of Magical Games and Sports. It had always been his calling, after all. After his internship had ended, he had joined the British and Irish Quidditch League Headquarters division and he had wanted nothing more. Well, except to become the Head of the Department one day, but he could wait for that. He had only been four years on the job.

Anyone would be better than that thieving Ludovic Bagman, who was still missing.

After Bagman's disappearance, there had been many interim department Heads but none of them had wanted the job. Most of them joined the Department of Magical Games and Sports because it was a gateway to the International Confederation of Wizards which was what _everyone_ was really interested in.

The current interim Head had quit two days ago and the entire department had been in an uproar. Despite the World Cup being held in Ireland this time around, the Ministry still got to decide who would be the commentator for the final match. The Minister himself had to get involved to sort out the mess. Two days ago, a meeting had been held in the Minister's office, attended by Kingsley Shacklebolt, Hermione Granger, and the entire Department of Magical Games and Sports. When none of them had been able to decide who the commentator should be and the situation had started escalating, Hermione Granger had cleared her throat loudly and declared with steely eyes that Lee might as well do it since he had both the experience and the dedication.

Everyone had quickly fallen in line under Hermione's relentless stare.

Grateful as he was, Lee had sent Hermione dozens of wild lilies hourly until Hermione had sent him a very nasty howler and he had stopped.

Which brought him to this very moment, the moment that would provide momentum for the _rest_ of his life–

"Oh, look! Here they come, the Bulgarian team and the Bulgarian bonbon! I feel as if that is a distinction I _have_ to make. Have you looked at their Seeker? Does everyone know that Viktor Krum was in Hogwarts briefly? What a year it was! Does everyone also know that Viktor Krum has not publically dated since his – _ahem_ – last relationship? I wonder what happened there and I wonder who is warming his jersey now," Lee Jordan prattled on, ignoring the hiss he was sure came from the Minister's Box. He saw a brief movement there and quickly changed the topic before the doom known as Hermione Granger would end his life.

"I have got to say Natasha Dmitri looks exceptionally well this day. What a fine form! Remarkable! I would also like to tell everyone who does not know that she is my girlfriend!" Lee remarked, ignoring the cascade of boos from the crowd. The haters could hate, he thought. It was something Hermione had told him many times.

"The Bulgarian Lineup! We have our three Chasers – Dmitri, Anev, Paisi. We have our Beaters, the very scary – Michacoff and Draganov. It is Draganov's first time in the World Cup! And hasn't he been phenomenal? Our Keeper is, of course, Zograf, who will be retiring after the World Cup. Finally, we have our Seeker – Viktor Krum! Do I even need to talk about him?" Lee winced when the noise from the crowd turned into pandemonium and his ears started ringing from the deafening sound.

He felt a light buzzing in his ears and looked sharply towards his left. Hermione Granger entered his box and waved her wand, rolling her eyes at his grimace. He shot her a quick wink and recast the _Sonorus Maxima_. Hermione settled down next to him and prodded him to continue.

"The Egyptian Lineup! Our three Chasers are Gamal, Essam, and Nassry! Our Beaters are El Mahdy and Hegazy. Our Keeper is Nimr and our Seeker is the newbie Zaghloul. Between the seven of them, the Egyptian team is easily the youngest team that has ever played in the Quidditch World Cup and they have played remarkably, haven't they? They have defied the belief that brute strength is needed to play Quidditch successfully. Not that I am against the idea of _aggressiveness, _I welcome it in _all_ forms!" Lee commented, snickering.

Hermione elbowed him and he waggled his eyebrows at her. The team had brought out their mascots and the crowd had gone crazy over the Veela again.

He canceled the charm on his voice.

"Did Kings send you here to nudge me to death? Really, Granger? After all the time we have spent together becoming the best of friends?" Lee said dramatically.

Hermione shook her head.

"You know why I came here. And _Kingsley_ is playing politics again," Hermione shuddered. "All those Pureblood families and am I supposed to just sit there and pretend I don't know that they wanted us dead four years ago? No, thank you!"

Lee sniggered.

"Why Granger, did you start learning tact from Harry again?" he asked, laughing at his joke.

Hermione smiled and rolled her eyes.

"Harry ran to his box the first chance he got, the traitor," Hermione informed him, sniffing slightly.

"And why haven't you done the same?" he asked even though he knew the answer. He looked towards the stadium and yes, the Veela were still at it.

"You know why. I can't bear being near Ron and his latest blonde. We broke up last year and every time I meet him, he is trying to tell me how better his life is or how he is doing fine without me. Good for him, I am happy he is happy. But then he goes to Molly and tells her his girlfriends don't matter and he is waiting for me to go back to him? He tells Harry that I broke his heart? He interferes with any guy I try to go out with! What does he want from me?" Hermione ranted, scowling.

"You are a gem, Ms. Granger and Ronald is trying quite unsuccessfully to get you back. He has always been a ponce, don't let that get to you. I am surprised he is Fred and George's brother!" Lee retorted and then suddenly quietened. He felt a pang in his chest. Even after all these years, Fred's loss still hurt like anything.

"Lee Jordan, I believe it is time to play another prank on Ron," Hermione declared, her lips curved.

"The last one left him incapacitated for a week. I suppose he's the idiot since he was not supposed to eat that product. What do you have in mind for the Let's-Keep-the-Buffoon-Away-From-the-Brightest-Witch?" he probed, his brain already thinking of different scenarios.

"Remember when we roped Draco into going out with me and Ron went nuts?" Hermione asked smirking.

Lee shuddered unpleasantly. Draco, while not as terrible as he had been in their school days, was still a Slytherin and Lee disliked him. Draco had struck a friendship with both Hermione and Harry but Lee still did not trust the snake. But he could not ignore that Ron really had gone ballistic and Draco had surprisingly taken the brunt of it. Lee and Hermione's plans to keep Ron away had backfired terribly and Draco had to take a sabbatical in France after Ron had fallen into a maniacal rage every time he had seen Draco.

The spell Lee and Hermione had designed to keep Ron away if he ever saw Hermione with a potential suitor was only supposed to keep him away. They had decided to prank Ron by using Draco and test the spell at the same time. Admittedly, it had not been their best moment. Still, Lee and Hermione had gotten a few laughs over it.

"You want to go out with Malfoy again?" Lee asked, grimacing.

"Well, no. The Healer told us that Ron has been cured of that spell. And I promised Harry I wouldn't use a spell or potion on Ron again. But you don't know what Harry just told me–"

Hermione broke off when she noticed the fight between the team mascots. She sighed.

"Leave it, they'll settle it like last time," Lee reminded her, using the silencing spell so the deafening roars of the crowd could not be heard inside the box. "What did Ron do now?"

"He broke into my apartment last week and apparently, there were flowers and dinner and what not. He was going to ask me to marry him!" Hermione replied, scandalized.

"Apparently?" he asked, feeling his anger rising.

"I was at that conference in Belgium, remember? Kingsley extended the rounds and I had to stay straight through the weekend. When I got back, there was nothing amiss except the smell of roses which I did not really bother about. Harry just told me that–"

"Ron broke into your apartment and let me guess, Harry covered for him and got the mess sorted before you came back? What do you want to do?" Lee finished Hermione's sentence. He glared at the thought and looked back at Hermione. She was staring at the field where a Bulgarian player was hovering in the air, just a few feet away.

"A prank to end all pranks. I have to let Ron know somehow that I am just unavailable and that I am _not_ interested and this is not a 'finding myself' rest-stop before I go back to him. There has to be someone that even Ron, in his deluded state, would not dare cross, right?" Hermione declared, still staring at the same spot.

Lee narrowed his eyes and turned to look. At the same time, the Bulgarian player turned his head to meet Hermione Granger's eyes and the stare lasted for _minutes_. Even at the distance, Lee could make out the light blush which was now gracing Viktor Krum's face. There was also a wild breathless look on Krum's face that Lee had seen many people get whenever they encountered the force that was Hermione Granger.

_My, my_, and they had not even started playing yet.

Lee smiled widely.

A prank to end all pranks, indeed.

* * *

"Ooh! That was definitely not a nice move by Draganov. But then, this is Quidditch and the game itself should be half illegal as my partner here tries to remind me many many times! Nassry seems to have taken a hit, but no, she is shaking it off and continues to play. As this game has progressed, the Egyptians have left their defensive moves behind and are now attacking. We saw this coming, didn't we? When you meet a team that is as aggressive as the Bulgarians, you have got to change tactics. Dmitri passes the quaffle to Paisi and Paisi to Anev. Oh, but that quaffle was beautifully intercepted by Essam and now it's going towards the g – and it's in! Bulgaria 290 – 280! What a match this has been!"

Lee continued commenting and Hermione stayed next to him for the entire match. They were all at the edge of their seats now. Lee could not help but be biased towards Bulgaria. He knew how hard Natasha and the rest of the team had worked. He was sure it was true for the Egyptians as well. But he really hoped Bulgaria would win.

Hermione seemed worried, her eyes never leaving Viktor Krum as he all but tore through the stadium on his broom, searching for the Golden Snitch. In contrast, Zaghloul was calmly circling the stadium. Not unlike what Harry used to do.

Because of Natasha, Lee was well aware that Viktor still held a tendré for Hermione. Now, Lee was absolutely certain Hermione reciprocated.

Suddenly, Lee was absolutely convinced that _right now_ was the perfect time to prank Ron and to make sure Krum knew Hermione still had feelings for him. Not to mention the fact that Krum really needed to slow down and listen to his teammates who had been calling out to him.

But how to go about it?

"That's a foul for Michacoff! Looks like Hegazy has been injured. That was not a nice move even if it was crafted wonderfully. The referee has called for a timeout! Both teams are neck-to-neck at 300 points!" Lee spoke as the sound of a whistle pierced through the air.

Lee canceled the charm and nudged Hermione.

"Ready for the prank?" he asked.

"What, now?" Hermione said incredulously.

"There won't be a better time. Don't tell me you haven't noticed Krum and how he has been playing?" Lee said.

"You'll get fired if you interfere in the match! Or fined!" Hermione reminded him.

"I have said a lot worse and none of the players have actually listened. They are glancing at the scoreboard and I announce the scores every minute or so. So, they are not particularly listening," Lee clarified.

Hermione sighed and shook her head at him.

"What's the plan?" she asked.

"I will declare that you are dating Viktor or something like that. Ron will never be able to get past that or past Viktor Krum, have you looked at his size?" Lee told her proudly.

"You mean if Ron confronts Krum, which I suppose is unlikely," Hermione claimed, then her eyes shone with excitement. "How about you say something like: 'Viktor, your secret girlfriend Hermione has a message for you?' That way Ron might believe it and even Harry might since I haven't told him about my nonexistent relationship yet."

"Perfect, Granger. Oh, the timeout has ended!" Lee said before casting the spell again.

"The whistle sounds and they are off! Hegazy looks just fine to me! Dmitri has the quaffle and let me tell you all what a singular woman she is! Remarkable! What a remarkable throw and now Anev has the quaffle. Oh, but what is happening at the other end? Seems like the Golden Snitch has been spotted! False alarm! False alarm!" Lee shouted as the crowd started cheering and roaring.

But something had definitely happened. Krum and Zaghloul were neck to neck, chasing after something. But Lee could not spot the shine of the Golden Snitch anywhere. The Bulgarian team was shouting something at each other and Krum, who seemed far too focused to listen to anyone.

Lee put his plan in action.

"Seems like our two seekers have spotted something! We wonder what it is! By the way Krum, there is someone who would like to say something to you. In the words of the great R. Kelly, Viktor Krum I present your secret girlfriend–"

Hermione inhaled sharply.

"–Hermione Granger!" Lee paused and took a deep breath as he began to sing from the start. "_...__I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky…"_

Krum stopped in the air so suddenly that Zaghloul crashed into him. It looked like Viktor barely felt a thing as Zaghloul bounced off of him and careened towards the center of the pitch.

Krum swiveled towards the box Lee and Hermione were sitting in, his disbelief obvious.

When Krum had turned, the bludger which had been thrown with a perfect aim towards Krum by the Egyptian beater El Mahdy, missed Krum by a few inches and hit Zaghloul in the shoulder as she tried to gain on Krum again.

The Egyptian team cursed and shouted, as Hegazy reached just in time to balance Zaghloul as she fell off her broom. Some members quickly started calling for a timeout and while others shouted foul to the referee who grew confused because El Mahdy had hit _his own_ team member and that was not a reason for a foul.

The Bulgarian team responded to the aggression of the Egyptians and the bludger which had been moving towards the center of the pitch was hit by the Bulgarian Beater Draganov with all his force and it careened towards the Egyptian Chaser Nassry who had a firm hold of the quaffle and was moving towards the goals. Without any of his teammates to protect him, the bludger hit Nassry in his chest and he flew off his broom and he dropped the quaffle which was quickly caught by Dmitri. The Egyptian team was still shouting at the referee and none of them noticed Dmitri as she shot towards the goals.

Krum kept staring at the box and seemed to wake up from a daze as he moved towards Hermione.

As Bulgaria scored a goal, the crowd went nuts.

Krum made a beeline for the box and he spotted a golden light just below the box occupied by Hermione and Lee. He sent Hermione an intense look before he dove after the Golden Snitch and caught it.

Meanwhile, Lee and Hermione stared at the destruction they had caused, eyes wide and mouths open.

"Knew I shouldn't have introduced you to Muggle music," Hermione muttered, still staring at the field.

"At least Ron took a notice," Lee whispered just as quietly. That part was true, as they had heard loud bangs and shouts coming from Harry's box which was a few boxes away. Harry was no doubt trying to contain Ron.

"That went well, didn't it?" Lee said, grimacing as healers rushed in to look at Nassry and Zaghloul, while the rest of the Egyptian team was openly crying. Not to mention half of the stadium was shouting profanity and sobbing.

The other half was cheering wildly and the Bulgarian team looked like they had no idea what they were supposed to do.

Hermione turned towards Lee and started hitting him.

"You – said – he – would – not – hear – a – bloody – thing!"

"Ow! He has not heard a bloody thing the entire match, Granger! It is only when I mentioned your name did he perk up and then, he took down the Egyptian team!" Lee said, rubbing his arms.

Hermione scowled openly at him.

Lee looked around and the crowd seemed to have gotten wilder.

"We should get out of here before the madness descends on us. I hear Kings coming!" Lee shouted, grabbing Hermione and taking out his wand.

"What about Vik–?" Hermione asked.

"Don't worry about your precious Viktor. I'd bet anything Natasha will bring him with her right after they get out of the mess. Now, do you have the emergency portkey we designed?" Lee asked, trying to control the laugh that was about the bubble out of him.

Hermione took out a card and handed it to him and whispered the activation phrase.

Lee and Hermione landed in her apartment, the cheers, and the yells of the crowd still ringing in their ears.

They stared at one another for a minute before they started laughing uproariously, clutching each other and collapsing to the ground.

"We shouldn't be laughing. Oh, Merlin, what did we just do?" Hermione breathed, leaning against him.

"A prank to end all pranks, we should retire now!" Lee said, wiping off his tears.

"I agree, let's never do that again!"

* * *

_-fin-_


End file.
